i wonder if this is because i haven’t as much to say in these days, or if my thoughts are scattered farther and wider and i have become too weary to retrieve them. they seem, anyhow, to slip through my fingers, turn to dust, become shadow or light, sinking into the ground or caught in the breeze, every which way they seem to escape me.

i have started walking on the beach again in the morning time before coffee and breakfast, before the day starts, before everything crowds in and sweeps you into its midst…its nice. the air is always colder than other moments of a day but its the kind of cold that brings you back. i paddled one day last week until my feet hurt but i saw the day in with a zeal for living that i dont have if i roll out of bed into the car and off to work. another day i picked up tiny starfish all the way along the seas edge and threw them back in so they didnt miss the tide and this morning i walked fast and furiously not so much looking down but up, all the way, watching for the sun.

i think it helps. i think i am realising that thoughts are to be held in careful hands, they are always moving, growing, shifting and you have to hold them in a way that they are free to be whatever they are becoming in order to truly see them.

and so maybe. between me and the sea and the sand, the barefoot and the gentle whisper of a god who loves me i might catch more than a glimpse, a glimmer, the edge, the walking away of….

Advertisement